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I love Jesus Christ and devote my life to following Him. I'm madly in love with my husband jon. I'm the mother of the most perfect babies in the world. I'm a Senior Sales Associate at my beloved Anthropologie. I'm a reader, thinker, lover, believer and traveler. I'd trade in the chicago skyline for the pacific coast any day. i love a good vino. i love my books. i'm creative as creativity goes but always wanted to be a painter. i prefer letter writing over emailing. And I always try to be a kinder person.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Life as small as a poppyseed

Last Thursday I discovered I was pregnant with our second baby. 

This morning I discovered I am not anymore.

Why, how...who knows really. To be frank, I don't think the science behind it all is important. My doctor has ensured me that my body is completely healthy and this will in no way prohibit me from going on to have healthy beautiful babies in the future. 

But my heart hurts. As anyone's does when a loss occurs. Though I only knew this little one for a few days, I fell in love the way a mother does. I felt the excitement of a new life, a new human being entering the world, entering our family. I felt nervous, but in the best possible way. All of that elation, all of that anticipation...gone in what seemed like a heartbeat.

My heart hurts for our lost littlest one. And all the love I felt for my little stranger went with it. I take great comfort in knowing God's will for me is great. I pray that his will be done and that he prepare my heart for whatever that may be.

I can't help but share this news with great disappointment. While many mother's choose to wait to tell their loved ones news of a pregnancy for this very reason, those who know me know I am an open book. To me, a life...even as small as a poppyseed, is to be celebrated. Thank you to those who celebrated with us, and those who are sad with us too. 

We know God is good...and because of that, rejoice in the life created and lost.


Leanne said...

I'm very sorry for your loss. Your little family is in our thoughts + prayers.

It was nice chatting with you this morning on FB.

Much love.

Alyssa said...

Linds - I am so so sorry:( I just saw your news and please know that you all are in our thoughts and prayers. I can only imagine what it feels like, but know that you are surrounded by support and love.

dave said...

Lindsey... I am so sorry!

I thinking about you guys...

Vana said...

I am speechless...know that you are prayed for...Love you guys! Keep your head up!

Sarah Baranski said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and Jon.

Lindsey Lindstrom said...

Thank you friends...I appreciate your prayers!