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I love Jesus Christ and devote my life to following Him. I'm madly in love with my husband jon. I'm the mother of the most perfect babies in the world. I'm a Senior Sales Associate at my beloved Anthropologie. I'm a reader, thinker, lover, believer and traveler. I'd trade in the chicago skyline for the pacific coast any day. i love a good vino. i love my books. i'm creative as creativity goes but always wanted to be a painter. i prefer letter writing over emailing. And I always try to be a kinder person.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The last time...


For the past two weeks, I've been weaning Judah from breastfeeding. In previous posts, I've talked about my methods for weaning. I'm a believer that it needs to be more about baby and less about momma. And in previous posts I've also discussed how breastfeeding is considerably MORE than just feeding your baby.

My intentions for weaning Judah were to move slowly and entirely at his pace. If he wasn't ready, I wouldn't be either. The process, to my surprise, has been near effortless. Judah is ready to be done. He doesn't mind not breastfeeding...and boy does the kid love his cow's milk :) For the last week, I've been nursing only in the mornings. I had intentions of keeping this up for awhile...maybe even a month or two after his first birthday...but this morning was different. I think it became more about my feelings and less about what Judah wanted. Judah is done breastfeeding. He wants a sippy full of milk and a table full of table foods. The final feeding...him waking in the morning and us being together while he nursed...I'm realizing today that it was me that needed the weaning, and not Judah.

This morning, Judah slept in. Alivia and I were up an entire hour before him. I had thought about maybe skipping the morning feeding...weaning (me and him) from the only remaining feeding of the day. When he woke up, I went in, changed him and brought him out into the living room where I promptly gave him a sippy of milk. From there...he went on with his day as if it were any other.

So here I am...a bit divided. On one hand, I'm THRILLED that it was so easy to wean Judah. I'm THRILLED that it was so effortless to breastfeed Judah. I'm THRILLED that the last twelve months was an amazing breastfeeding experience for me and him. I'm THRILLED that I have now successfully breastfed two babies for a total of 26 months (where is my trophy?!?). I am THRILLED to have my body back (let the abuse commence...lol).

...And then comes the bitter part of this bittersweet process. One in which I carefully documented in my last blog post. Its done. The bond, the nearness, the nourishment...has come to an end. Part of me is sad...just as it was with Alivia...but maybe a little more sad because I don't want to have any more babies. This is it for us. My experience as a breastfeeding mommy is complete. On the same note, I do also feel like I'm being ushered into the next stage of my breastfeeding experience. Using it as a tool to help new mothers. Making an effort to get my certification as a lactation consultant...using this experience that I hold near and dear to help others...to educate others. That's pretty exciting...

So its done. My baby is one years old and weaned from breastfeeding. Feeling proud, feeling excitement, feeling the bittersweet nature of ending this process.

Blessings to you, my friends.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Time to wean...


I nursed Alivia for 14 months. She turned one before I knew it...and I didn't really have weaning on my mind. She stopped nursing on her own...which was really nice for me, since I didn't have to do anything but stop offering it to her. She was easy...and I think that's how its meant to be. Nursing Alivia had its challenges (as most first breastfeeding experiences do). I'll admit that I didn't like doing it until I wasn't doing it anymore. Weaning Alivia was a bittersweet experience. Sweet because I was done nursing and officially got my body back...but bitter because now there was a missing connection. She suddenly had no physical need for me. Of course, she has lots of needs for me to fulfill...but she was detached from my body in every way. That was a bit saddening. I never realized how much I LOVED breastfeeding until I was done doing it.

When Judah was born, I was thrilled to start. I knew what I was doing. I didn't have the concerns or fears that I had during my first experience. He latched on immediately and never had a single problem. I was BLESSED. Its not always easy for women to breastfeed and I had the pleasure of hassle free nursing.

In about three weeks, Judah will be one year old. I can't believe it...and I'm THRILLED about it. I love babies, but I love toddlers more. And this time around, I've consciously started weaning Judah...which hasn't been hard since his love for all things milk and table foods is more than evident. As of now, I nurse only in the morning and at night. He drinks milk through the day. He's doing well...but he loves his mommy, and I'm beginning to feel like I may need to take my time with him. My Judah is incredibly sensitive...he has a big heart and lots of love. He's fragile, and I don't want to pull away before he's ready to let go. Thankfully, he's taking quite a bit of initiative with weaning. He's glad to take milk over mommy...but I want to be sure he knows what he's weaning himself from before it suddenly disappears.

These are the things I love about breastfeeding...and the reasons that I think many mommies don't see because its so easily hidden by the function of it all. Breastfeeding is a connection...a bond between mother and child. Its so much more than just feeding...so much more than just nourishment. And I haven't truly experience this until its time to let it go. Its beautiful and saddening. Beautiful to see how God has built a connection through function...saddening to let it go and find other ways to connect. Truly bittersweet.