Do you ever get wrapped up in so many things that you feel like its impossible to even get your barring on reality? I'm there. In fact, this is like the story of my life.
I have periods of time where I feel totally in control. Everything is just as it should be...in the right place...in the right position. But most times, I feel all spread out...spread way too thin. I feel stretched and bent so uncomfortably that I get worn down. I feel like I'm working for everyone else, I'm caring for everyone else...and everyone else forgot to take care of me.
Don't worry, I'm not depressed. But seriously...can I get an "Amen"!? I don't think I know a single person who hasn't been in this very position. It's amazing what I try to do to fix it...drop an activity, keep a week free of stuff, clean my house until every inch is shining...and all of it is just so temporary. Trivial at best.
We can choose to live this way, day in and day out, always trying to work through it all on our own. We can constantly depend on the relationships in our lives to sustain us emotionally. We can work and work to make things look good...but it's all worth so little.
I imagine myself walking next to God. On my back I carry my family, my friends, my home, my work, my life. All by myself, I carry the weight and work endlessly to keep on my feet. Why wouldn't I depend on God, walking next to me, to help me carry it all? Just as you'd depend on anyone to help you carry a heavy load...so should I depend on my Lord for his help.
When my relationship with God is firm, so is everything else. The pieces fall into place...things work out. Worries seem silly. Blessings are abundant.
How do we forget this? Constantly forgetting this? Even though it's been PROMISED to us?
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30 ESV)
Lord, forgive me for thinking I have control over this. Forgive me for relying on the care of others for the fulfillment of my soul. YOU are enough. YOU are enough for me. Help me remember this, and seek you first in all things.