This week I've learned something about myself.
I'm always looking for the next thing. I'm never content. I'm constantly wondering what I'll do next...what life will look like tomorrow. I cloud myself with these worries, these thoughts...so often that I usually forget to look at today.
I was recently offered a full time Nanny job for some family of ours. 40 hours a week, 2 kids, 8a-4p every day. At first, my immediate response was no way. Then I mulled it over and started considering the possibilities...this job would give me nights and weekends free with my husband and more money to pay off our debts and make life a bit easier.
What would I have to give up for more money? I'd have to give up a part time job I've done all my working life and that I love so much. A part time job with people who have become like family. I'd have to give up the "dates" I've begun to have weekly with friends and family..."dates" that I have come to charish deeply. I'd have to give up the time alone with Alivia...cuddling on the couch, just me and her, with our goldfish crackers and Charlie and Lola. I began thinking about all of these things and I came to realize that I am happy.
I am happy.
Sure, having extra money is wonderful...more time with my husband, even better...But is it worth giving up the things that given me happiness today? My family. My work. My friendships. My daughter. Not to say any job could take these things away from me...but through all of this I've become content with where God has brought me now. How blessed I am to be able to stay home with my daughter! How blessed I am to be able to develop friendships with women who are in the same place in life as I am! How blessed I am to have a job that I care about, and cares about me! How blessed I am to have time alone with my baby...to watch her grow...to teach her about life.
How blessed I am to have a husband that supports and loves me...and I him.
How blessed I am to worship a GOD that is faithful.
Through all of this...I've learned to be content with what God has given me. To be thankful that I have anything at all...and to give thanks to the Lord for blessing me with all of it.
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither tool nor spin, yet I tell you even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:25-34