Happy Birthday My Great Love

Today, October 12th, it's my husband's birthday. In honor of his day, I thought I'd share with the world what I know of my love of over ten years:

1. He is an amazing husband. He's a leader, a comforter, he's loyal, compassionate and always loving to me. He is my partner in every sense of the word. He is my sweetest love...and every day we love each other more. I never though our love could get bigger, but it has.

2. He is an unbelievable father. Our kids fill with joy at the sight of him. He lays on the floor every day after work just so they can crawl all over him and laugh as he tickles and cuddles them. He teaches them the way of the Lord. He teaches them patience, respect, honor and love.

3. He loves his family. I'm not just talking about the four of us. He loves his mom and dad. He loves his mom and dad in-law. He loves his grandparents and still talks about his grandparents who passed many years ago. He loves his aunts and uncles and his cousins (both biological and inlaw alike). He loves being an uncle to his 7 nieces and 1 nephew. He loves his entire family unconditionally...and always wants to be around them.

4. He loves his friends like he loves his family. He is a devoted, loyal and caring friend. He is the guy you want next to you in all situations and I thank God for his "brothers"...who have very much stepped into the roll of siblings when he had none.

5. He works hard. There are men who provide for their families, but I believe there are few who do it with as much passion and focus as my husband. He works hard for us...he's smart, he's an artist and he's always grateful for the work he is given.

6. He loves the Lord. This above all things. My husband is the most Godly man I've ever met. There is never a question about whether or not Jon Lindstrom puts the Lord above all things. Those that know him closely know this well...and as for me, there is no earthly place I feel safer than under the guidance, comfort and protection of my husband. All because I know his heart belongs to Jesus.

My husband is the greatest man I know. I love him beyond what I could imagine and I praise God for bringing him into my life. Everyone should be so lucky to find such partnership. Jonathan, I love you. I love you so much. Happy 32nd Birthday <3

Always yours,

Lindsey

Looking beyond man

I don't believe we truly understand the righteousness of the Lord.

We get hints of it...glimpses of his GLORY...and it rocks our lives. But I believe those glimpses are just that; a FRACTION of who the Lord is. A detail of his majesty.

I imagine heaven. I imagine the immense JOY of meeting my Maker face to face. I remember the overwhelming, heart-popping-out-of-my-chest moment when my husband asked me to marry him...or when my beautiful children were born...and I think..."THIS IS A FRACTION OF THE LOVE MY SAVIOR HAS FOR ME??" it's mind blowing.

Sometimes I wonder how it will be possible to survive being in the presence of the Lord. How are we capable?

All this to say...we live our lives seeing the Lord through dirty glasses. We dig Him out of muck and search endlessly for Him within a sea of hatred and desolation. How easily we lose Him...how easily He get buried beneath our sinful nature.

Constantly refine yourselves, dear friends. Constantly strip all that's unnecessary so you can experience a glimpse of the GLORY of the LORD. I am so unworthy.

The words of the Lord are pure words, like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times. You, O Lord, will keep them; you will guard us from this generation forever. On every side the wicked prowl, as vileness is exalted among the children of man. (Psalm 12:6-8 ESV)

For it is you who light my lamp; the Lord my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.
For who is God, but the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God?— the God who equipped me with strength and made my way blameless. He made my feet like the feet of a deer and set me secure on the heights. He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great.
You gave a wide place for my steps under me, and my feet did not slip. (Psalm 18:28-36 ESV)

We are unworthy...and still He loves us. I'm in awe. My life for the GLORY of GOD...

Ruts

Since getting back from camp...I've been in a rut.

My kids were making me pay for leaving them so long...

My leg hurt from my injury to it at camp...

Nothing seemed to be going right for me...

Work even seemed too overwhelming...

No one seemed to care...

Ruts are funny things. Its almost like you can't even explain them. When asked why I was in my rut, everything ran through my head, almost as if I searched for a problem within every single thing, relationship, detail of my life...and tried to blame it on that. Yet the blame never fits. You never feel settled with where your reason rests. You end up talking circles and still not feel better by the end of it. Its a rotten emotional place to be in.

I often wonder what God is thinking while He's watching me in my rut. Arms crossed, tapping His foot with a smirk on His face...thinking to Himself, "She knows the remedy, just wait for it." Yet our stubbornness feels like a heavy cloud that's near impossible to break through. Every so often we look up...and still we choose to stay put. Why we do this to ourselves, I'll never know.

Last night, I tried to describe it to my husband. It was unsuccessful, until I came to the conclusion that my rut was ultimately my lack of contentment. Jon followed that by telling me...

"You're trying to fill your voids with things that can't fill your voids...

therefore, not content."

So simple. I can't fill my voids with my husband, my children, my family or friends. I can't fill the voids with things that fail too. And as the Lord sits there tapping his foot at me, waiting anxiously for me to invite Him to fill my voids...I realize how simple it all is. The Lord is always waiting...patiently waiting with open arms for sinful me. Never-ending love and mercy...forgiving me for my stupid rut. Reminding me of my abundant blessings.

It makes me realize how inferior we are to our King...and yet we matter to Him. I matter to Him. How is that even possible? Why should He care? Yet He does.

This morning I woke up feeling His new mercies. I woke up realizing that maybe my rut was necessary. Maybe I needed to realize that my life and all that is in it isn't what I need most...that the Lord is all I need for contentment, and within that contentment, I will find joy in all the blessings HE has given me. Certainly not a new revelation in my life...but one I think we all should be reminded of on a regular basis.

Camp

For the past two years, I have dedicated my Sunday nights to a group of teenage girls at my church. Every week we discuss life...and Jesus. It's hard work...very hard work...but hard work for the kingdom of God, which never goes un-blessed. I love it. Every single thing about it...and just might be addicted to it for life.

One of the best things about serving in our high school youth group is camp. We have two camps every year: winter camp and summer camp. Winter camp is short, and incredibly fun. I loved every second of my experience there. This past weekend, I had the privilege of going to summer camp for the first time. I have no words to truly describe it...it's was an experience I will hold close to my heart for years to come. God was present and WOKE UP everyone who was there.

I spent the week with amazing leaders, leading even more amazing students. I wish everyone had a glimpse into what it's like to do life with these kids in this setting...what it's like to worship with them, listen to their hearts, love them. It would blow you away.

The only unfortunate part of camp is leaving...and the yearning you have to reunite with all these people when you come home. God works...and when God works, he leaves an imprint on your heart that is impossible to erase. These moments of life are simple reminders of how God refines us, molds us and heals us. HSM Summer Camp 2011 was definitely one of the best moments of 2011 :-)



Our youth pastor Luke MacDonald...the guy has a serious gift. One of the best pastors I've ever had.


Me and some of my girls. Love them and their hearts!


Me and just two of the amazing leaders I have the privilege to serve with every week. Love these dear friends!

My little reader

When Alivia was little, I introduced her to reading books before she ever asked. She loves them...she reads them every night before bed...but I wouldn't necessarily peg her as a little book worm. Judah, on the other hand, can't get enough. He is ten months old and could easily sit for fifteen minutes reading books. He LOVES the pictures, and is fascinated by whoever is reading the story. It's adorable.

I'm gonna go ahead and take credit for birthing a book worm...since I'm a bit of a book worm myself :-)

Becoming a morning person

My mom was always a morning person. I'd often wake up and find her in a quiet room, sitting on a comfy chair, drinking her coffee and reading her bible. In fact even though my parents are now empty nesters (and have been for some time), she still does that. There was always something about it that I loved. Maybe it was the reliability of wanting to be by her when I woke up and always knowing where she was. Maybe it was how quiet and still our home always was...before every one woke up and began their day. I loved the feeling of mornings in my house.

As I'm getting older, I have more of a desire to start these sort of regularities in my own home. There was a morning a few weeks back when Judah woke up before anyone else. Him and I went outside on our deck and took in the morning air. He played in his saucer and I read a book in my chair. Neighbors walked by and chatted about the beautiful weather...and eventually my sweet husband came out with coffee in hand. I loved the feeling of being a morning person that day. I felt refreshed by watching the day wake up and taking in how still and quiet everything was.

Of course, not every day has turned out like this. I'm usually exhausted in the morning and only wake up because my kids wake me up. But the prospect of becoming this person appeals to me. One day my kids won't want to wake up, and I'll have those quiet mornings (hopefully to enjoy with my love) before our kids wake up...or rather, before I wake them up :-)

down with toddler activities

This is an honest blog post. One that has the potential to insult or offend some of you mommies. I can only hope that you, as a friend, will understand that this is only my perspective. I don't judge you if you choose the opposite as I do.

Last summer, we couldn't afford to send Alivia to 3 year old preschool. Frankly it wasn't that I even wanted her to go (3 year old preschool? really? What is she gonna learn there that I can't teach her at home for free). Anyway, I knew I wanted to get her involved in something, so I asked her what she'd like to do. At the time, she was very big into dance. She'd frolic around our house constantly. She loved everything about it. So, I searched for a dance studio in the area and enrolled her in a children's dance class once a week for 45 minutes.

1 Semester (3-4 months) of class: $216

As we approached the end of the 1 semester, it was dance costume time.

1 Sparkly Sequined Dance Costume: $65

I emailed our teacher and told her that we couldn't afford it...and weren't even sure we could afford dance next semester. The teacher and her family go to our church, and graciously offered to pay for Alivia's dance costume. I can't tell you what a blessing this was for us. I was over and beyond thankful for their gift.

Time went on...we gradually paid for the 2 Semester of dance (another $216)...and then it was dance recital ticket ordering time.

4 Tickets to a 15 minute dance recital: $60.00 (and no, we didn't get any free tickets for parents)

Every year, at the end of the year, they create a t-shirt for all the dancers.

1 YOUTH small tshirt: $22.00

GRAND TOTAL FOR A YEAR OF DANCE FOR MY 4 YEAR OLD: $579.00

(not including ballet shoes, tap shoes and leotards)

With all this said, I've come to a conclusion about activities like this. They are crap. My daughter is as uncoordinated as she was when I enrolled her. In fact, the only thing about dance that she cares about anymore is wearing her leotards. I'm not saying that dance is crap. Dance is beautiful, artistic and should be recognized for what it is. But when you ask me to pay $579.00 for my 3-4 year old to frolic around a dance room for 45 minutes once a week, its a sin.

I've come to a conclusion (with help from a mom of older kids who I've recently befriended). She told me to let my kids be free...

"go pick flowers. run in a field. that's all they really want to do!"

I couldn't agree with her more. Of course, socially a dance class is a great idea. But my kid is the furthest thing from socially awkward or segregated...all this dance class did was teach her what kind of little brats to avoid.

I want to be the mom that encourages my children to do what they want to do. I want to see them develop the skills they desire and flourish in that...but I also want them to have a childhood. I want them to have fun. I want them to enjoy nature, run in fields, take walks, go to the park every day, have picnics, play games, do crafts, etc etc...and all of these things are FREE. There is no reason to dish out almost $600 for my toddler to do in a snooty dance studio what she'd be happier doing in our living room.

I learned my lesson. Today I will be paying $60 for tickets for Alivia's dance recital ($60 that could have been used for a much needed date night...or family night...or anything that isn't a 15 minute dance recital). Today will be the last time I pay this much money for something so insignificant.

So take my advice, fellow parents: Do your research. Its a guarantee that your local park district likely has UNBELIEVABLE classes for your tiny one at a fraction of what I paid. Don't dish out the money for them now. Take that $600 you almost spent and put it in a bank account for them instead. Then go by a leotard at target for $12 and start a dance class in your living room :)