Existance

My entire existance has become uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure I remember this state when I was pregnant with Alivia...but this time, its worse.

I have to keep reminding myself that I have 5 weeks left. It could be 3 weeks if I'm one of the lucky momma's that goes 2 weeks early. Here's hoping.

At this stage in my pregnancy, I feel like now is the time to look back at the last 8 months and look forward to what's to come very very soon. There are some major benefits to being pregnant with number 2...for one, there is SO much less worry. Having done this once, you know the aches and pains. Even if they are different, having gone through labor helps you decipher what warrents a call to the doctor and what doesn't. I can't tell you what a great relief it is to be without the worry of it all...and while there are things that keep me thinking, overall, the emotional part of this pregnancy has been quite pleasant.

There is also a great relief in knowing that I've done this once, so I can do it again. I've experienced the terrorizing pain of labor, I've been the sleepless mom, I've struggled through my first 8 weeks of nursing, I've done it all. Some have warned me that it's different because I have a toddler at home. I've been warned about the stress and how overwhelming it can get. Please note that I have accepted that these situations may very well be a part of my future, but those who know me well know I don't do stress. I see every situation as a choice; get stressed or choose to handle it differently. I, more often then not, choose to handle it differently. Call me naive...call me crazy...but I have confidence in my capabilities as a mother, I have confidence in my calm and patient husband and I have the utmost confidence in my well behaved three year old. All this to say, I'm not worried about it. One day at a time...

Perhaps that's the payoff. I might be emotionally together and less worried overall...but at the same time I'd do anything to just be comfortable for a few minutes. This pregnancy has been different physically. My first and second trimesters were the same as my first pregnancy...but my third brought all kinds of lovely ailments to the table. Raging heartburn, swollen feet, lots of Braxton hicks, aching back, painful legs, sensitive tatas and a never ending stretching belly. I've tried desperately to be pleasantly pregnant (physically) this time around, and have found for me that it's nearly impossible.

I'm 35 weeks. If screaming "get this baby outta me!" actually worked, you'd hear it from me. But for now, I'm going to take one day at a time...enjoying my alone time with my precious Alivia...taking advantage of every moment I can spend with my sweet husband, the love of my life...taking in every last full night of sleep...and enjoying my pregnancy (regardless how miserable I may feel by the end of the day)